The Duchy of Munster

Hello Feudal Enthusiasts! and welcome to my play-through of Crusader Kings 2.

Crusader Kings 2 is a "Grand Strategy" game by Paradox interactive where you play as a dynasty in Medieval Europe.

I'm playing as the Duke of Munster. He lives in Ireland. He's Irish.

I've already been playing for about one hundred in game years and I already have more than a third of Ireland. So here's my realm:

Our rivals are clearly labeled...

As you can see I have almost half of Ireland already. When I started playing I only had the County of Thomond and the Barony of Ormond as a vassal. Since then I've kicked in the heads of the leaders of Desmond, Kildare and Ossory to get where I am today.

Ireland started out as a series of independent counties and duchies with no king to speak of. It will be the goal of this play-through to unify Ireland.

Let's take a look as the guy I started to play as: Duke Murchad I of Munster

Irish Catholic baby machine

The interesting thing here is that Murchad started out with a dead wife and one son. When I started playing Duke Murchad immediately married some French woman and started pumping out babies. Curiously enough, half of them ended up gay. That did nothing to stop me from marrying one to the King of France (the dead woman with the crown under "children"). Duke Murchad also fathered a bastard son who grew up stupid (the second child).

Luckily Murchad's first son and heir is worth a damn.

With only five kids Duke Brian is less Irish than his father

I believe I have the full dynasty tree somewhere here...

Everyone on the left matters, everyone on the right can eat it.

Duke Brian is a superior leader to Duke Murchad in every way. I made him like this by hosting a grand hunt and by hosting a great festival in a year. When Brian first became Duke he was a cowardly loser. By forcing him to go out and kill a wild animal he became a man. When he held the festival he gained a reputation for kindness when he spoke out against the mistreatment of some trained monkeys (Those poor monkeys!). So overall Duke Brian is a kind, trusting, gregarious man who is content with his life and takes pride in himself. His hobbies include gardening and crushing the shit out of all who oppose him.

Since he became Duke, Brian has fought several wars. One for each province in the realm including Desmond and Ormond and he was the one who controlled those territories to begin with. He has expanded into Kildare and Ossory as well as defended the realm in a war against the Duke of Meath (who I've nicknamed the Dickhead of Dublin).

Duke Brian has three sons. This red Grizzly Adams looking jerk is his first:

Brian Mac Brian: Unwashed hobo or Heir to Munster?

Yes he has a lisp, and he's useless. His character traits include sloth, gluttony, greed, arbitrary (total disregard for laws) and to make things even more embarrassing he's an incompetent priest.

That's why Duke Brian murdered him.

Duke Brian couldn't have this slob leading the Duchy of Munster in its quest to unify Ireland so he had his throat slit. This was an order carried out by his spymaster:

She died shortly after

  If you noticed that Duke Brian's second son does not appear in his first wife's children list, that's because Duke Brian cheated on her and fathered a bastard (like father, like son). He was a very competent military commander but kept complaining about Duke Brian's easy going lifestyle so I married him off and sent him away.

After Duke Brian's first wife died I had to get a new wife and spymaster.

Perfect

Only a few days after she became spymaster she uncovered a plot where some bitch from Ormond was going to murder Duke Brian's heir and second born son Lorcan. I tried to have her arrested but she fled the country.

He's quite useful, shame about the face

Duke Brian was determined to make sure that Lorcan grew up to not be a total fuck up. So swallowing the reflex to puke after looking at Lorcan's face Duke Brian proceeded to mentor Lorcan. At the same time Duke Brian noticed that one of his Vassals died and his heir was his only daughter. So while Lorcan was 2 years old and she was 1, I arranged a marrage between them. This move makes certain that Lorcan's son will inherit the county of Desmond as well as the entire Duchy of Munster. He will be a powerful kid and the entire Duchy will remain in the Ua Briain dynasty (keep it all in the family).

So let's see this future all powerful Duke and possible King of Ireland:

This kid is only 6 years old right now. Duke Brian is 64 years old. The Duke is 14 years beyond his expiry date. It's a race against time to see if Dunlaing can reach 16 years before Duke Brian croaks. It won't be a big problem if he does die before Dunlaing is 16 but I'd rather have him finish his education before taking the throne. At least Lorcan is the one who is tutoring him.

Moving on... This is my council  of advisors:

Three old men and two badasses

The Duke's wife and The Duke's Marshal are his best people. The Marshal, Conchobar, has the Master Strategist trait. This is the best military trait in the game and is the man of choice if I want kids to be educated in the art of war. Also of note is the steward, he's not very spectacular but he's the best I got. When he dies I don't have any competent stewards to replace him. I'll probably have to pay a noble to join my court to replace him.

He are the laws of the land:

Changing the law sparked a rebellion

The Law used to be Agnatic-Cognatic Gavelkind. That meant that titles and counties would have been spread amongst the children. I didn't want the Duchy to be split up by Vassals so I changed the law. When that happened Ormond rebelled and declared war on me. Ormond of all places! It's not even a county! the baron is a Lord Mayor who is elected. Elections are heresy in the middle ages.

So I kicked his head in and jailed him. He died in prison. The losers in Ormond elected a replacement. His replacement LOVES me. I wonder why.

Hey guys! let's take a look at the pope!

Nice Hat

The Pope has declared three crusades so far (think of these as mini crusades not like the epic crusades from history). Duke Brian has participated in none of them. There was a time when the King of France asked me to go on a crusade with him and I accepted, but I didn't send any troops. I just rooted for France from the sidelines.

There's a button in the game that creates an anti-pope. The thought of that makes me giggle.

Now, the year is currently 1112 AD and The Duchy has two main rivals. The Duchy of Meath includes Dublin and Leinster. Duke Brian has fought a war with them before. Eventually I will need to make claims on those territories and settle the matter once and for all. With Dublin and Leinster Duke Brian can crown himself King of Ireland.

His father was a big asshole

The other rival is the Duchess of Connacht. Normally, Connacht wouldn't even be registered on my shit to do list but the Duchess (or rather the regent who controls her) fabricated a claim on the county of Kildare. In response I've taken measures in fabricating claims on the county of Connacht (you need multiple counties to usurp a Ducal title). Eventually we will have claims on each others land and the Duke of Munster will win the oncoming war with wave after wave of pissed off soldiers. There is a distinct military advantage in having the resources of five separate territories to draw from.

Picking a fight with a 10 year old girl

And that's the current state of affairs in the Duchy of Munster. I'm probably going to continue playing this over the weekend and then update this blog when I'm not busy. We'll see how this goes.